Pandora's Box? Gail Sexton Anderson, Ed.M.

Heartfelt Egg Donation coordinates and encourages open and semi-open communication and arrangements between intended parents and egg donors if they decide this is the best route for them. I truly value Gail Sexton Anderson's voice in the egg donation community. Have a look at her recent blog post below and her insight regarding direct contact between parents and egg donors.

Pandora's Box? By Gail Sexton Anderson, Ed.M. 

Some fear that allowing intended parents and egg donors to have direct contact could be opening Pandora’s box.  My experience, of over 13 years, working with couples and egg donors is that knowledge soothes the fear of the unknown rather than creating problems. I have conducted many meetings between couples and egg donors and I can say they have been wonderful meetings were all parties walked away feeling better for having met.

When the donor gets the opportunity to meet the couple she is helping she has a stronger sense of commitment to the process. I’ve found that many donors would say to me after having met the couple that they were surprised how nice the intended parents are.  They had been expecting some wealthy and superficial individuals rather than a normal everyday caring couple longing to be parents. The donor often finds it more rewarding to when they get the opportunity to meet the couple.  Donors who done completely anonymous cycles as well as cycles were they have meet the intended parents wish they had been able to meet the all of their couples.

When intended parents meet their egg donor it acts to reinforce their choice and to take away many of the fears they may have.  I have found that most intended parents have the desire to feel like they know the egg donor.  It can be a very scary thing to put so much trust into an individual who will in essence be taking the mothers place in the gene pool. The meeting can help the couple to experience the egg donor as a multifaceted individual whom they can feel comfortable moving forward with in an IVF cycle.  I have found that intended parents also feel a strongly sense of closure when they have been able to meet their donor.
I’m not suggesting that all couples and donor should meet but I am suggesting that we are not complicating issues but actually simplifying issues by not creating such a taboo around meeting and future contact. The bottom line is that the more the parties know about each other more the comfortable they usually are.  Not knowing may cause the parties involved to make assumptions about each other that may not be founded in reality and may also cause anxiety in many cases.

I am finding that many intended parents are becoming more and more open to having some sort of contact with their egg donor and even more so wanting to have the option for future contact for the benefit of their future child.  Trying to keep these parties apart creates more fear than is really merited.  Most couples and egg donors have good boundaries and are not likely to become burdens to the each other.

Let’s also remember, at the bottom of Pandora’s box was hope.

Survey: Families through Gamete Donation Language

One of the challenges and frustrations many parents have with Third Party Reproduction is the language and definitions associated with egg donation. 

 

The Language Committee of Parents Via Egg Donation,  a nonprofit organization, is creating a document to reflect the language of families created through gamete donation. Just as Positive Adoption Language (PAL) finally legitimized and clarified the role of birth and adoptive families, so too, do we intend to educate as to how and what to call the various participants of families created through assisted reproductive options.

The intent is to distribute this document to the media and to others so that journalists will have appropriate language to use in describing our families. To do this, we would like to know what language you as parents, siblings, and professionals in the field of family building prefer to use.

Answers to these questions are completely anonymous. Please help us know what language is appropriate to use when describing families of gamete donation. The entire survey should take approximately 15 minutes.

The survey can be found here: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/gametedonationlanguage

*** When you take the survey please remember to click NEXT at the bottom of the screen ad continue on to the second page. There is another page with another set of questions. I think there are 30 some questions in all. 

 

Thank You.

Carole Lieber Wilkins, MFT and Britta Dinsmore, Ph.D., Co-Chairs
Parents Via Egg Donation

Study: Egg donors happy they helped out

By Alan Mozes
HealthDay Reporter

WEDNESDAY, Oct. 27 (HealthDay News) -- Most women who serve as egg donors retain a positive take on their experience a year later, new research indicates.

Researchers polled 75 egg donors at the time of egg retrieval and one year later, and found that the women remained happy, proud and carefree about their experience. "Up until now we've known that donors are by and large very satisfied by their experience when it takes place," said study lead author Andrea M. Braverman, director of complementary and alternative medicine at Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey in Morristown. "And now we see that for the vast majority the positive experience persists."Braverman and colleagues from the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J., were scheduled to present their survey findings Wednesday in Denver at a meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

A year after donation, the women said they seldom worried about either the health or emotional well-being of the children they helped to spawn. They said they only think about the donation occasionally and rarely discuss it. The donors also reported that financial compensation was not the number-one motive for facilitating another woman's pregnancy. Rather, a desire to help others achieve their dreams was pegged as the driving force, followed by money and feeling good.

Women who said the donation process made them feel worthwhile tended to be open to the notion of meeting their offspring when they reach adulthood. And most donors were receptive to the idea of meeting the egg recipients and participating in a donor registry. "These findings are only one year out, and this is part of a five-year ongoing study," cautioned Braverman. "And life changes a lot in five years, so it'll be interesting to see if this lasts that far out. We can't say yet. But so far we're seeing that the feelings persisted during the beginning of the journey. A year out, we're not seeing a change in donors' experience. And that's kind of a good thing."

Linda Applegarth, director of psychological services at the Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility at the New York Presbyterian Hospital--Weill Medical College of Cornell University, described the study as "very useful," but expressed little surprise with the findings. "I actually routinely meet with donors a year post donation, particularly with donors who want to donate again," she said, noting that about 65 percent of her center's donors choose to repeat the process. "And I would say anecdotally that my experience matches the study findings," she added. "Many do choose to donate again because they have had a very positive experience," Applegarth explained. "And in addition to whatever had motivated them to donate in the first place, after they've donated, the experience often takes on new meaning for them, in a positive way. So their motivation becomes more multi-faceted, because they really do know that they've made a difference." Donors don't obsess about the experience, Applegarth said. "They move on with their lives. And this, I think, speaks well to the fact that there are any number of us who work with donors and try to be very sensitive to them and what they're doing, and want to make sure that they have a good experience with the donation," she said."We consider the donors as patients, and in that respect they're as important as anyone involved in the experience," Applegarth added.

Touching on the issue of egg donation from a different perspective, a second study to be presented at the conference found that women who serve as donors have a significantly different psychological profile than women who actually provide the service of carrying a baby to term. Compared with egg donors, the so-called "gestational carriers," or surrogate mothers, were found to have a higher degree of "belief in human goodness" and "contentment with life," researchers from Northwestern University in Chicago found. Carriers were also observed as having a stronger sense of "social responsibility."

How many eggs do you have anyway? By guest blogger Sharon LaMothe

I attended a fascinating session lead by Dr. David Adamson, MD at this years SMART ART XI. His topic was Careers, Babies and Biological Clocks. I wanted to share one particular tid-bit that I don't think is in your typical woman's magazine or doctors office reading material.

Just how many eggs do we women have anyway? Have you ever wondered? I never have. I just figured that I had what I needed and left it at that. I never gave my husbands sperm a thought either...it seemed to be there when it was needed (and sometimes even when it was not! BTW male fertility drops to 70% in their 50's) But I never had a sit down with girl friends and chatted over how many eggs we had left or where they all came from. We might have talked about their expiration date but we used the word 'menopause' to describe those topics!
        
Dr. Adamson showed a slide that said this: In Utero (aprox at 5 months) an unborn baby girl has about 4 Million Eggs. At birth that same baby girl will have about 700,000 eggs and at puberty a young girl would have approximately 350,000! And just so you know...at menopause the number is about 1000 eggs and they are not doing well! Most of these eggs are lost to artesia, not ovulation which means that they are lost to the cells dying.

As you can see, we are born with all the eggs we will ever have. Amazing to know but now the question is just what will we do with those eggs?


Sharon LaMothe Infertility Answers, Inc. http://infertilityanswers.org/ LaMothe Services, LLC http://lamotheservices.com/ *Please note: Sharon LaMothe is not a MD, is not an attorney nor does she hold a mental health degree. All advice given is solely the experienced opinion of Ms. LaMothe. If you have any medical, legal or psychological questions or concerns, please contact your own Doctor, Attorney or Mental Health Professional.

Invitation: Donor Gametes, the Next Generation: Caring for Our Children

I just received this invitation from The American Fertility Association. If you are one of the first 15 to register you'll be in luck and can get personal support and have your questions answered regarding the use of donor eggs, sperm or embryos. If you are already parenting children conceived via these methods you may also participate.

You're Invited to a FREE Telephone Coaching Support Group Thursday, November 18th  Donor Gametes, the Next Generation: Caring for Our Children  Are you considering the use of donor sperm, egg, or embryo to create children? Or, are you already parenting children created by donor sperm, egg, or embryo? During this one hour group conference call, you will receive information on: · The pros and cons of disclosure to children of their genetic origin · What and when to share this information with children if you so choose · How or whether to share this information with family or friends · Questions you may have if you have already begun to share this information You will also have the opportunity to share information and support one another in making the decision about disclosure and implementing this aspect of parenting. WHEN: Thursday, November 18, 2010 WHERE: Telephone Conference Line  (call-in information will be given at time of registration) TIME: 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Eastern time FACILITATORS:   Joann Paley Galst, Ph.D.  Patricia Mendell, L.C.S.W. COST: FREE! Registration limited to the first 15 responders who also send information regarding their particular situation and  any questions they would like addressed. For further information and to register contact: Joanne Paley Galst, jgalst@aol.com, 212-759-2783 Patricia Mendell, pmendell@aol.com, 212-819-1778

Series: Egg Donor Frequently Asked Questions - #6 and #7 Risks and Side Effects of Donating Eggs

Will donating eggs now affect my fertility or the ability to have children in the future?

No. All currently available information shows that there is no decrease in a donor's ability to get pregnant after completing a normal retrieval.  You will not “run out” of eggs or go through menopause any sooner.

What are the primary risks and side effects of taking the fertility medication?

The primary risk is a condition called Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. This is relatively rare (1-3% of cases). Your physician will monitor you carefully in order to avoid this possibility. Side effects include weight gain and a feeling of extreme bloating. Also, as with any procedure, a risk of infection exists, you will most likely be given antibiotics to avoid this.

At Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC we do our best to educate prospective egg donors regarding possible side effects and risks associated with egg donation. Prior to the egg retrieval procedure, the treating physician and their staff will provide additional risk education.

Possible Medications, Side Effects and Risks:
These medications will be totally out of your system within a few days after completing the treatment. There is no evidence that these medications cause cancer or have any long term side effects. Not everyone will experience side effects and the degree to which they occur may vary widely among individuals.

• Birth Control Pills - An oral tablet used to synchronize your cycle to the Recipients. Side effects may include: headaches, bloating, nausea, breast tenderness and vaginal spotting.

• Lupron® or Antagon® - This suppresses the pituitary gland from allowing you to ovulate. This medication is given by injection. Side effects may include: hot flashes, sweats, headaches, nausea, breast tenderness, decreased libido, joint pains, emotional lability, dizziness, general pain, nervousness, skin reactions, vaginal dryness/itching, weight gain/loss.

• Gonal-f®, Pergonal®, Repronex®, Follistim® - This contains natural pituitary hormones that are responsible for ovarian stimulation and aid in the production of eggs. This medication is given by injection. Side effects may include: ovarian hyperstimulation, ovarian enlargement/pain, ovarian cysts, abdominal pain/cramps, allergic reactions (fever, chills, musculoskeletal aches, joint paints, nausea), headaches, nausea/vomiting/diarrhea, skin rashes, swelling or irritation at the site of injection, dizziness, increased heart rate, breast pain, back pain, emotional lability, weight increase.

• Human Chorionic Gonadotropins (HCG) - This simulates the body's normal LH surge causing the final maturation of the eggs. It is expected that ovulation will take place 36-40 hour later. This medication is given by injection.

• Antibiotic - A broad-spectrum antibiotic to prevent infection. This is an oral tablet.

• Pre-natal Vitamin - A multivitamin that is given for good general health and egg quality. This is an oral tablet.

• Low Dose Steroid - May be given to suppress the production of male hormones during the treatment cycle and helps with egg quality. This is an oral tablet.


Rare Complications
In the unlikely event that there are medical complications, Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC purchases an Accident and Medical Complication Insurance Policy for the Donor and Intended Recipient on behalf of the Intended Parents.

• Minor discomfort or abdominal pain might occur following the egg retrieval and is controlled with pain medications.

• Bleeding from the site where the needle is introduced (in the vagina) can occur. Almost always it is controlled by applying pressure to the site. In the rare event that there is internal bleeding, surgery might be required to stop the bleeding.

• Vaginal and pelvic infections may result. As a preventative measure, the treating physician may prescribe antibiotics during the egg retrieval. Complicated infections may cause tubal damage and interfere with fertility in the future.

• The production of a large number of eggs (>30) which may cause abdominal swelling, discomfort and difficulty breathing. In rare instances the fluid that accumulates in the abdomen might have to be removed (through the vagina with a needle) to alleviate symptoms and in some cases admission to a hospital might be required for a few days. This complication can be prevented and physicians take all necessary measures to do so.

Series: Egg Donor Frequently Asked Questions - #5

Why is it important to be height and weight proportionate as an egg donor?

It is necessary for you to be within a healthy weight range so that you are not at an increased risk for medical complications while participating in an egg donation cycle.

You may visit the Centers for Disease Control website to determine your BMI or Body Mass Index. All of our egg donors fall within the normal range for height.

Series: Egg Donor Frequently Asked Questions - #4

Can I donate eggs if I just had a baby and I'm breast feeding?

You may not donate while you are breast feeding. It is also necessary for you to have at least three regular menstrual cycles prior to participating in an egg donation cycle. You may start the application process with Heartfelt Egg Donation.

To become an egg donor with Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC please visit the Donor section of our website for more information. 

Series: Egg Donor Frequently Asked Questions - #3

Can I donate eggs if I've had a tubal ligation?

Yes, you may be an egg donor if you have had a tubal ligation. Your eggs will be retrieved prior to being released in the fallopian tubes.

Series: Egg Donor Frequently Asked Questions - #2

Are there any forms of birth control that will prevent me from being accepted as an egg donor with Heartfelt Egg Donation, llc?

Yes, you will not be considered or accepted into our program as an egg donor if you are currently using Depo-Provera, Norplant or a Hormonal IUD, such as Mirena. You will be required to have at least three regular menstrual cycles after you discontinue using these methods of birth control. These forms of birth control do not allow your menstrual cycles to be adjusted or synchronized and this is a very important part of the egg donation treatment cycle. Although some physician's and fertility centers will allow donation with a Mirena IUD, we cannot guarantee matching you with prospective parents who are working with a physician who accepts this practice; therefore, we will not be able to accept you into our program.  If you have a Non-Hormonal IUD or are using birth control pills this will not affect your ability to donate. 

Is Disclosure about Donor Parentage Wise? A Guest Blog by David Kreiner, MD., F.A.C.O.G

A blog by David Kreiner, M.D., F.A.C.O.G., East Coast Fertility, originally posted October 4, 2010 - reposted with permission.

I received this letter from a former donor egg recipient. It made me think about what it might be like, years after the actual procedure for a child who grows up wondering about his/her donor parent.

Dr. David Kreiner, M.D., F.A.C.O.G.

Dear Dr. Kreiner, I want to thank you and your wonderfully caring staff for all you did to help me have my daughter, Jessica. There was not a moment that I did not feel supported during the process, and for this I sing your praises constantly. My daughter is truly a blessing. and I will always cherish that you helped bring her into this world for me. We informed Jessica about her genetic parentage a few years ago with the help of a psychologist, who saw my husband and I first. and then with Jessica for two or three more visits. I thought it went well. Jess seemed to understand that we loved her and that Russ and I were truly her father and mother, and I cannot say that our relationship had changed in any significant way since then. However, Jessica is now 14 years old and has recently been asking me about what I know about her genetic mom, which is how she referred to her. I took offense to her use of the term ”mom” and immediately corrected her, saying “you mean donor, honey”. This started a huge argument and has created a tense rift that still exists. I know that she has been doing research to identify her donor, including calling your program. I don’t know what to do. Did we make a mistake by telling her? Should we seek out the donor and ask if she is willing to reveal herself to my daughter? Is it even legal or moral for us to ask? Should we tell my daughter that it is not possible to identify her and just leave it like that? I am afraid not to try, as it seems to be so important to her, and if I appear to be resisting she will get angry with me again. What should we do Dr. Kreiner? Still thankful but with some remorse, Former donor egg recipient

An Important Question

I have been involved in these donor egg cases since 1985, and this type of question is rare for me to receive. But now I wonder if that is because patients do not feel close enough to me to discuss these problems years after my services have been performed.

It is not uncommon for potential donor egg recipients to say to me ”I’m not going to tell my child about the donor. I’m going to carry him. I’m the mom.” We have always recommended that parents disclose that they had utilized donation to their child, since it is thought that honesty is better than trying to shoulder "the big lie," which ultimately would be found out and lead to much larger problems.

If you are planning to build a family with a sperm or egg donor, you may be thinking about these very issues. Many patients believe that disclosing their child’s donor origins will damage the parent-child bond that is so precious to them. They fear that a genetic connection to a donor could trump their relationship with their child. Most commonly, my patients plan to tell their child about the donor but want the donor’s identity to remain anonymous. They worry that an identified donor could disrupt the integrity of their family by inserting herself or himself into it.

Professionals in the field of infertility tell us that patients who need help to have a child often feel vulnerable and may view donors as threatening.

To Disclose or Not, That is The First Question

Unlike heterosexual couples, same sex couples and single individuals understand that from the moment they decide to build their family that they require assisted reproduction. These families openly disclose their children’s donor origins because it is the only way to explain their conception and birth. Inevitably, the children look at other families around them and wonder if they have a mommy or a daddy. It does not appear that disclosure in these cases has a negative impact on the families.

However, the heterosexual couples seek assistance only after failed attempts to have a child on their own and sometimes even after multiple IVF attempts using the woman’s own eggs. These couples typically experience incredible loss, frequently feel inadequate and often become clinically depressed. Assisted reproduction with outside help with their family building was not something they ever imagined. Many feel a sense of shame that may add additional motivation to keep the donor parentage a secret from their child. We are told by those professionals in the field who study this that many former donor recipients turned parents fear their child will see the donor as the “real” mom or dad and believe they are preventing potential problems by keeping the secret from their child.

Interestingly, many individuals who are the result of gamete donation report feeling like they don’t fit in with their families. I have heard that when they ultimately are informed of their donor origin that it often makes sense to them and not infrequently is received by the child with a degree of relief to explain their uniqueness from their family. Sometimes donor conceived individuals inadvertently learn about their origins under less than ideal circumstances, such as from a family friend or relative. Nondisclosure, in these cases, usually undermines trust and honesty within a family and may lead to psychological harm.

Professionals studying donation tell us that when children have been told about their donor origins, they are typically accepting of the recipient moms and dads. In fact, it appears that when children learn of their donor origins at a young age, they are more likely to have a more positive experience. Their donor conception is integrated from the beginning into their life story. It becomes who they are at an early stage when they develop their own identity and sense of self. Individuals told later in life are more likely to have more negative feelings about their donor conception than those told earlier. They may become angry about being deceived and often feel betrayed by the very people they thought were the most trustworthy in their lives, their moms and dads. Hence, disclosure at an early age is recommended by professionals studying this issue.

I will address the question of disclosing the identity of the donor in my next blog.

Series: Egg Donor Frequently Asked Questions - #1 How do I become an egg donor with Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC?

Today our blog features the first in our series of Frequently Asked Questions by Egg Donors.

How do I become an egg donor with Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC?

1. Please review the Donor section of our Web site to be familiar with our Donor Criteria. We search for egg donors candidates with the following characteristics:

• Ethical, honest and caring.
• Responsible and committed to helping those who require an egg donor.
• Between the age of 20 and 31.
• In good health and live a healthy lifestyle.
• Have a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index).
• Non-smokers and do not use illegal drugs.
• Not currently on the Depo Provera shot, Norplant or using a hormonal IUD such as Mirena.
• May be willing to speak with and/or meet Intended Parents.
• Able to provide health history and genetic background.
• Willing to undergo medical and psychological screening.
• Willing to be available for 6-8 weeks, attend approximately 10 doctor appointments.
• Willing to perform self-administered injections for a period of approximately two weeks.
• Willing to undergo a procedure via sedation to retrieve eggs.
• May be willing to travel.

2. Print and complete the Confidential Donor Information and Consent Form, Donor Profile and FDA Addendum.

3. Return the Confidential Donor Information and Consent Form, Donor Profile and FDA Addendum along with a copy of your driver's license, educational transcripts and at least five photographs of you at various stages in your life. This information will be used to review your background. Please provide photos that show you positively. We ask you to provide as many photos as possible so that prospective parents can make an accurate assessment of your appearance and features. You may mail, fax or email your application to:

Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC

1344 Disc Drive, #402

Sparks, Nevada 89436

Fax: 775-354-0533

info@heartfelteggdonation.com

We prefer that you email your digital photos to us although you may mail them with your application. If you would like to have them returned, you must provide a self addressed stamped envelope, otherwise we will not be able to return them. 

4. Upon receipt of your application and all the required components, we will schedule an interview with you to get to know you better and to discuss your motivations for wanting to donate.

In-vitro pioneer wins Nobel Prize

British physiologist Robert Edwards, whose work led to the birth of the first ''test-tube baby'' in 1978, is awarded the Nobel Prize for medicine and physiology. (01:44)

'You Asked, We Answered': Questions About Egg Donation

This is a wonderful Q&A session from ABC World News with Diane Sawyer originally posted on their website January 15, 2008. I felt it was worth repeating as the questions are very common and the most asked of women considering becoming an Egg Donor.

____________________________________________

Last week "World News With Charles Gibson" aired a report on egg donation and invited viewers to ask questions. Our expert contributor, Dr. Rick Paulson, has answered some of your questions below. Paulson is chief of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at the University of Southern California and co-author of "Rewinding Your Biological Clock: Motherhood Late in Life: Options, Issues, and Emotions."

Question: How do I find out where I can donate my eggs in my area? Is there a Web site where safe or approved sites or facilities that perform the extraction are listed by ZIP code?
Tara in Emmaus, Pa. 
 
Paulson: I would recommend two Web sites: The first is the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM,), where you can find specialists, a listing of the programs in your area, etc. The other Web site you may want to check out is the Society for Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility (SOCREI). I would suggest that you choose a physician who is board-certified in reproductive endocrinology and infertility, and these are listed on that Web site.  

Question: Where do we go for information on donating our eggs? Whom do we contact? Who pays for the medication that we take before we donate our eggs? Who is actually paying us for our eggs? Where is the list of agencies in our own city/state that want to buy our eggs? How much can we get paid for our eggs?
Seleta in Charlotte, N.C.
 
Paulson: It's very nice that you want to donate; an infertile couple will be very grateful! We don't consider it "buying" or "selling" eggs, but rather that you donate, and are reimbursed for your time and trouble! There is no cost to you, and a typical payment ranges from $2,500 to $,5000. The recipient couple pays for the medications and the medical treatment. You should start with the Web sites of the professional organizations that deal with infertility and egg donation, like those mentioned above (or click here for ASRM Web site, or here for SOCREI,) to find a doctor and practice near you. That practice can then either match you to a recipient couple directly, or it can direct you to an agency it likes to work with.

Question: What are the cancer or other health risks, short and long term, associated with the many drugs used to stimulate the ovaries?
Linda in Dix Hills, N.Y.
 
Paulson: Every medical procedure is associated with some degree of risk. Some risks are known, and others may not be known. As of now, egg donation is about 20 years old. We know that some 1 percent of donors experience ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (where the ovaries get very swollen and the donor becomes bloated and uncomfortable) to the point where it interferes with her life to an appreciable degree for about two weeks. The egg retrieval is associated with a very rare but possible risk of bleeding and infection (much less than 1 percent).

There were several studies that seemed to link ovarian stimulation to ovarian cancer, but they have been disproved, at least for now. So at the present time, there is no proven reason for limiting the number of donations. However, because we know we don't know everything, most programs recommend limiting the number of donations to five or six. But this is an arbitrary rule, and is not based on a risk of cancer. And yes, having babies decreases the risk of ovarian cancer by quite a bit (30 percent for the first pregnancy, more with additional pregnancies).

Question: Does undergoing fertility treatments and all the medication one takes over years of trying to conceive increase the risk of ovarain cancer? Are any of the drugs more likely to cause ovarain cancer? How and where would one get more info, and what should one ask a doctor for? Thanks for giving your time to a looming question long after treatment.
Maria in Ill.
 
Paulson: See links to Web site above for additional information on these issues.

Question: I was an egg donor at the age of 20, and now that I am 27 and trying to have a baby, I can't. I have had four miscarriages. Have there been any kind of studies on women who donated their eggs and having subsequent problems of getting pregnant themselves?
Barbara in Melbourne, Fla.
 
Paulson: What bad luck! It would be very interesting to know if the recipient of your eggs actually had a baby when you donated. As far as we know, there is no effect of egg donation on subsequent fertility, or on the risk of a subsequent miscarriage. Remember that there are many reasons for miscarriages, and they may include factors such as your male partner. Also, your uterus was not a factor in being an egg donor but may be a factor in miscarriages. I would suggest that you see a reproductive endocrinology specialist to evaluate your situation. With a complete work-up, chances should be on your side that you will eventually be successful.

If you are losing hope...My story, by Cindy

This is for anyone out there who is losing hope…

In the fall of 2004 my husband and I received the greatest news that you can imagine. My Doctor said that I was pregnant at the age of 40. On May 16th 2005 our beautiful daughter was born, and we believed that life could not get any better. Then on September 11th 2008, we received the news that every parent dreads. Our daughter was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia. Eight days later she was gone.

My husband and I could not accept facing a life without children, so soon after her loss, we began trying to have another baby. I was almost 44, when she passed. We tried on our own for a few months, but I knew our chances were very slim.

We decided to try IVF. Initially, we tried 2 cycles with my own eggs. The second cycle I got pregnant and carried the baby until the second ultrasound at 10 weeks. After having a solid heartbeat 2 weeks earlier, there was no heartbeat to be found on the second.

After that disappointment, we decided to try an egg donor. I became pregnant again, but unfortunately miscarried at 6 weeks.

We only had 2 frozen embryos from the first donor, so we decided to go with another egg donor, as our insurance benefits were about to expire. The second donor produced only 2 embryos, that were not of the best quality. We did 2 frozen transfers, and were not successful either time.

Then we received news from my husband's company that they were changing insurance carriers. This would give us another 4 chances with IVF. We took this as a sign, that perhaps God wanted us to keep trying. So we did…

We hired donor # 3. She was actually an acquaintance of ours. (This, I definitely do not recommend!) On her second blood test which came back the day before retrieval, something showed up in her blood work that forced that cycle to be cancelled.

Then, next there was donor # 4. Believe it or not, the same thing happened again.

After all of this, I am not going to lie, I was very discouraged, but I could not give up. I began to look for a new donor through Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC. When I saw the donor that we picked, I felt a sense of peace. I don’t know why, but I knew she was the one. Initially, we had looked for someone that looked like me, and she didn’t really, but I knew she was the one.

I will be 7 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and yesterday we found out we are having twins. I know this must read like a horror story, but I guess the moral of my story is that even when things seem impossible, we can not give up hope…

God Bless you on your journey… 

______________________

Double congratulations to Cindy and Mike, very special clients of Heartfelt Egg Donation. May your pregnancy continue to be healthy, joyous and full of wonder. I can't thank you enough for sharing your story and for providing encouragement to others. 

The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Show: Your Guide to IVF & Third Party Family Building

If you are considering building your family the non-traditional way (through IVF, egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, or surrogacy) you should tune in to tomorrow's (Thursday, September 30, 2010) The Surrogacy Lawyer Online Radio Show. Theresa M. Erickson, Esq. will be interviewing Dr. Kim Bergman of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and Ken Mosesian, executive director of the AFA, at 11AM PST/2PM EST on Voice America. They will be discussing donor-conceived children and same sex family building.

You can tune in weekly for The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF & Third Party Family Building when it is broadcast live every Thursday at 11:00 am pst/2:00 pm est on Voice America Health & Wellness Channel. If you miss a show, you may download the free podcast from itunes. Here are some links from past shows. 

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• September 23rd: Dr. Robert Kiltz of CNY Fertility and Kristen Magnacca, author of Love and Infertility
• September 16: Dr. Craig Sweet, Specialists in Reproductive Medicine & Surgery, Ft. Myers, FLA: Embryo Donation
• September 9: Dr. Bradford Kolb, Huntington Reproductive Center
• September 2: Amy Demma, Prospective Families; Andrea Bryman, LMFT; and Pamela Madsen, The Fertility Advocate: The Eggsploitation Controversy
• August 26: Pamela Tsigdinos- Silent Sorority and Barbara Collura- RESOLVE
• August 19: Dr. Edward Ramirez, an infertility specialist
• August 12: Dr. Fernando Akerman- international egg donation and surrogacy specialist
• August 5, 2010: Pamela MacPhee Delivering Hope: The Extraordinary Journey of a Surrogate Mom

Egg Sharing: A better way to cheaper eggs? By Guest Blogger Sharon LaMothe

Although I am not an egg donation expert by any means, I would like to broach the subject of egg sharing. It's not a common situation however, with the cost of IVF and Egg Donation in general, more Intended Parents are looking at ways to cut back the costs of ART and egg sharing can be one way.

Sharon LaMothe, Infertility Answers, Inc.

Egg Sharing can be done when two Intended Parents/Couples like the same egg donor and want to share her egg donation. If she has a good track record of producing many eggs per medicated cycle or there is an agreement up front of how the split will be determined then it can work out to everyone's advantage. Because an egg donor does not get compensated per egg...just per donation, she is not compromised in anyway. The IP's will split all the costs regarding her fee, medication, egg retrieval, travel etc. The eggs then would be divided per the agreement and fertilized with each IP's sperm. Then following the protocol, the embryo transfer will take place per the RE's orders.

How do you find someone willing to share an egg donor? Talk to your clinic, if they have an in-house donation program. Tell the coordinator that you are interested in egg sharing and what you are looking for in a donor. She/he can put the word out to potential patients and see if anyone is also interested in the same type of donor. This same conversation can be had with the egg donation agency. Some agencies do not advocate shared donations. Its best to know that before you sign on with them so all the options are open. (I would like to note that a couple going through IVF with more then enough eggs for themselves maybe open to "donating" the extra eggs in return for the retrieval procedure or other costs covered by the recipient couple. This is something else that can be discussed with your Doctor.)
One issue to consider is the emotional aspect. How would one party feel if the other did not conceive? Or should that information be shared in the first place? When considering the costs of IVF and ART in general, Egg Sharing may be one of the less costly solutions.

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Sharon LaMothe has been in the Infertility Industry since 1998 when she signed her first Gestational Surrogacy contract. She subsequently gave birth to twin girls and in 2000 was invited to join a FL law firm recruiting & managing surrogacy arrangements. After leaving the legal arena in 2003, Sharon then co-owned and operated Surrogacy Consultants of Florida, LLC, the first successful independent surrogacy agency in Florida. Sharon participates on many advisory boards well as being a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine. In January 2005 Sharon once again became a Gestational Carrier and gave birth to girl/boy twins for a same sex New York couple using Donor Eggs. She is currently the owner of Infertility Answers, Inc. & the Creator of Surrogacy 101. Sharon is also the Owner of LaMothe Services, LLC http://lamotheservices.com, an Assisted Reproductive Technology business solutions service. Sharon currently guides couples who need more information regarding their Third Party Family Options. You may follow Sharon on Twitter http://twitter.com/SharonLaMothe

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 Please note:

Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC does not coordinate shared Egg Donation Cycles at this time. 

 

Welcome Baby Girl, Charlie!

With great joy I announce the birth of Charlie; sweet baby daughter to M & S and big brother L. Charlie arrived healthy and pink on July 27. She was cared for and protected by her gestational carrier, Tina. As things settle down in the household, we hope to have Charlie's mother write a guest blog and share her experience about what it's like to team with a carrier and an egg donor in an open arrangement. Her experience will surely provide encouragement and comfort to others. Congratulations!

Charlie - Isn't she beautiful?!

NIAW Day 7 - Find Support. Do you need help coping with your infertility diagnosis?

Find Support (as provided by RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association)

Do you need help coping with your infertility diagnosis?  If you answer YES to any of these statements, please consider finding a support group or mental health professional in your area.  You are not alone.

• I can not enjoy the pregnancy news of friends/family.
• I have a difficult time being around babies.
• I find myself withdrawing from gatherings with family/friends to avoid questions about my "baby plans".
• I feel alone, like there is no one else to talk to.
• My partner and I have different ideas on what to do next.
• The stress of infertility is effecting my work performance, personal finances, social life--I'm having trouble keeping it all together.

Sound familiar?  Consider connecting with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association's support resources.

Find RESOLVE near you. Find a RESOLVE support group. Listing of programs nationwide. Get online support 24/7. Call your local RESOLVE HelpLine.

NIAW Homepage

Video: Project IF - Raising Awareness for National Infertility Awareness Week

iReport —Posted, Wednesday, April 28, 2010

1 out of every 8 couples struggles with infertility. This piece seeks to put a real face and name to the very real disease of infertility, and what it's like for millions of people in the country who cope with infertility every day. This video was made as part of ProjectIF for National Infertility Awareness Week, which runs through this Saturday, May 1. After today's successful congressional briefing on infertility with the CDC, members of Congress, and RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, this piece is vital to spreading awareness for a healthcare issue that affects over 7 million people in this country.

ABC News: Health Care Bill offers little comfort to the infertile

Take a look at this article regarding the Health Care Bill and infertility care related costs. Very little is going to change for those going through fertility diagnosis and treatment. 

Health Care Bill Offers Little Comfort to the Infertile

NIAW Day 6 - Navigate the Costs of Family Building

Navigating the Cost of Family Building (as provided by RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association)

Infertility exacts an enormous toll on both the affected individuals and on society. Women and men in their most active and productive years are distracted by the physical, financial and emotional hardships of this disease. Infertility is more than a disease, it is a devastating life crisis which can greatly impact the health, relationships, job performance and social interactions. Added to the emotional and physical toll exacted by infertility is the financial burden carried by many seeking treatment.

RESOLVE aims to ease that burden by providing comprehensive information on insurance coverage for infertility and alternative options for making your infertility affordable.

RESOLVE.org Resources The Costs of Infertility Treatment Setting and Reaching Financial Goals Creating a Financial Plan Infertility Financing Programs

 







 NIAW Homepage

NIAW Day 5 - Impact your community

Think about and decide how you can have an Impact Your Community today! 

Volunteer, host a support group, raise awareness. (as provided by RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association)

Making an impact on your community with RESOLVE's message will not only benefit the thousands of women and men who suffer with infertility in silence, but it will benefit you.  We hear from our volunteers every day that giving back and engaging their community in a conversation about the issues surrounding infertility helps them find hope and a resolution to their own family building journey. 

Take a moment and think about how you can make an impact on your community. 

• Order free brochures from RESOLVE and drop them off at your local ob/gyn offices so you can reach someone sitting in that office wondering "why is it so hard to get pregnant?"--email: publications@resolve.org
• Host a RESOLVE support group--visit this link for more details.
• Call a local radio station during "drive time" and let them know it's National Infertility Awareness Week and if listeners are having trouble getting pregnant, they need to "take charge and know the facts". Make sure to mention resolve.org/takecharge
• Talk to your family, friends and coworkers about your family building journey.  Engaging others in conversation can help change perception, create a support network you didn't realize was there, and help you find a resolution. Here are some "Fast Facts" about infertility.

Visit "Get Involved" for more volunteer ideas.

Impact Your Community.  Because 1 in 8 is someone you know.

NIAW Day 4 - Send a free NIAW ecard

Today's call to action regarding National Infertility Awareness Week is, Take Charge: Send a NIAW eCard:

• Want to thank someone for the support they've given you during your family building journey?
• Know someone that could use some support during this difficult time?
• Want to help spread the word about the National Infertility Awareness Week movement?
• No matter what the reason, sending a NIAW eCard is easy! 

Click here to send your ecard today! 


Taken with permission from RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association

Press Release: Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC joins with RESOLVE to Take Charge During NIAW

Heartfelt Egg Donation, LLC joins with RESOLVE: The National Infertilty Association to Take Charge During National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24 - May 1, 2010)

NIAW Day 3 - Become an advocate

Become an Advocate (As posted by Resolve, The National Infertility Association)

Whether you have been diagnosed with infertility or know someone who has, becoming an advocate is one of the most important steps you can take when it comes to the infertility movement. 

If you have been diagnosed with infertility, become an advocate and you will:

• Regain a sense of control that is lost when you are dealing with infertility.
• Know your voice will be heard.
• Find others that understand what you're going through and won't feel so alone.
• Feel empowered.

How to become an advocate:

• visit RESOLVE's Take Action web site here.
• meet others at RESOLVE's support groups or online support community.
• make sure you're receiving information from RESOLVE

For friends and family, become an advocate and you will:

• Understand what to say during a difficult time in your loved one's life.
• Feel part of the journey having a better understanding of their disease and treatment.
• Feel empowered to stand together and know you're making a difference.

How to become an advocate:

• visit RESOLVE's Take Action web site here.
• make sure you're receiving information from RESOLVE
• visit the Friend and Family's page.
• visit RESOLVE's online support community and ask questions to get advice.

Back to Take Charge
NIAW Homepage

NIAW Day 2 - Take Charge of your fertiliy: Design a plan

It's Day 2 of National Infertility Awareness Week. Resolve, The National Infertility Association can help and point you in the right direction for moving forward regarding your family building options. They are a tremendous resource and provide insurance information, options, and support.

Design A Plan (As provided by RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association):

If you or a loved one is struggling with infertility, you need to know that there are many roads one can take. Visit resolve.org to learn more about the family building options listed below. 

Medical Treatment
Medical treatment options include drug therapy, surgical procedures, intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF) and surgical techniques. Get the facts. 

Adoption
Adoption can take many forms: domestic or international; closed or open; private or public. If you are considering adoption as a family building option, learn all you can to make the decision that's right for you.

Donor Options
Many options exist today for couples who are facing infertility and one or both partners is unable to have a genetically-related child. Learn more about donor egg, donor sperm and donor embryo here. 

Surrogacy
Sharing a pregnancy with a surrogate or gestational carrier may be the right option for you if involvement with the pregnancy, prenatal care, genetics and being present for the birth of the child are important. 

Childfree 
Choosing to live childfree is a way to resolve your infertility. When couples experiencing infertility move through the grief over not having a pregnancy or a biologically linked child, it's an opening into a world of possibilities. 

Back to Take Charge
NIAW Homepage 

NIAW Day 1 (National Infertility Awareness Week) - Infertilty 101: Get the facts

Today is the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). In order to "Make a Difference for you and others" it's important that you educate yourself. Do you need to see a fertility specialist? Do you know someone who is trying to conceive and not understand what they are going through? RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association, provides these common myths and facts as a starting point to understanding infertility. 

National Infertility Awareness Week (April 14, - May 1, 2010) is a movement to raise awareness about the disease of infertility which affects 7.3 million Americans.

Infertility 101: Get the Facts (as provided by RESOLVE)

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than 7.3 million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. But choosing how to build your family is a very personal decision. Learning about all the ways to build a family can open your eyes to options you may not have thought of as a possibility. Education is key to finding resolution.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.

Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!

Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.

Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!

Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.

Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.

A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.

Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!

Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

More RESOLVE Resources
NIAW (National Infertility Awareness Week) Homepage

Heartfelt Egg Donation, llc to participate in National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24 - May 1, 2010)

I'm pleased to announce that Heartfelt Egg Donation, llc will participate in National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), April 24 - May 1, 2010. Our goal is to help raise awareness about infertility and family building options and to support RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association in their efforts to educate those who may be experiencing infertility or know of someone trying to conceive with difficulty.

Starting tomorrow, April 24, 2010, I'll provide information on how to educate yourself. You'll be given the tools to Take Charge with 7 things you can do in 7 days:

1. Educate yourself
2. Design a plan
3. Become an advocate
4. Send a free ecard message to someone
5. Impact your community
6. Navigate the Costs of Family Building
7. Find Support

I'm excited to see the information that will be coming from the infertility industry and those affected by infertility. What a great way to open the lines of communication and to help remove the stigma associated with infertility.

I came across an article/blog post by Connie Shapiro, PhD from yesterday titled "Celebrating Infertility Awareness Week". I encourage you to read it as it touches upon the many facets of infertility that are not discussed openly or frequently.

Video: Life = Risk

We've all faced hard days and times that seem to last an eternity. Continuous struggles and/or perceived failures are no joy ride. The "why me" syndrome can be a real spirit killer. Some of us need to be reminded a little more than others that Life = Risk and success can only come after failure. So when the going gets tough, remember to lift up your chin and look at all your accomplishments whether big or small. Look to those who love you for support and try to keep your mind and body in a good place. As we enter the weekend, I leave you with this video and hope your days are sunny and warm even if it's raining and cold.

The Egg Donation Dilemma - Compensation Vs. Enticement

Pamela Madsen is one of my favorite bloggers who always gets to the issue at hand and doesn't hold back with her voice and beliefs. I came across her post on Monday and thought it provided great insight. It also included wonderful, detailed comments from an donor egg agency owner, Amy Demma and Marna Gatlin, a mother via egg donation and founder of Parents via Egg Donation. Their comments are so very poignant for prospective parents and donors, alike. I hope that their voices resonate with you or give you some pause with regard to egg donation and the compensation vs. enticement debate. Please take a look at the link below for the full blog and comments. Feel free to add your own comments.

The Egg Donation Dilemma - Compensation Vs. Enticement

Book Review (Children): Daddy and Pop, from the "Love Makes a Family" Series

I had the pleasure of reading Daddy and Pop from The "Love Makes a Family" Series presented by Guess Who? MultiMedia and Pacific Fertility Center, Los Angeles. Written by Tina Rella, this is a new children's musical book series that celebrates families made possible by adoption, egg/sperm donation, and surrogacy.


The story is about Jessica, a little girl starting first grade who along with the other children in her class, is asked to share information about her family. She has two fathers. At the end of her presentation, someone asks about her mother. She never really thought about this before. After school she asks her fathers why she doesn't have a mother and they explain how she was conceived through the help of an egg donor and carried until born by a gestational carrier. Both women helped to bring Jessica to them and make their family complete.

I first read the book without the CD and then again along with the CD.  It was a quick read, simple and to the point: love makes a family. The story is realistic. The music made the story come to life even more than expected and I can easily see how youngsters curious about their beginnings would enjoy it. There's no doubt that story time will be lots of fun in a household reading Daddy and Pop and I anticipate that the other musical books in The Love Makes a Family Series are equally entertaining and informative.

The official release date of the Love Makes a Family Series of musical books is April 16, 2010. Anyone who purchases one or more musical books on this date will receive a 10% discount. In order to receive this discount, email your order to Info@guesswhomultimedia.com. Purchases may also be made directly through Guess Who? MultiMedia or through Amazon.com.

ABC News / Diane Sawyer Looking for Previous Egg Donors and Parents via Egg Donation

Calling all previous egg donors and parents via egg donation...ABC News and Diane Sawyer are looking for you and want your personal story. Check out the link below. If you happen to get the opportunity to share your story, let us know.

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/mailform?id=10332052