Friday, March 26, 2010

Through the eyes of an Egg Donor - My Story

Egg Donation is your one chance to truly answer a prayer
By Camille, a former Egg Donor through Heartfelt Egg Donation, llc

Ever since I can remember, I have known that I was adopted. I grew up in a small northern California town where families ate dinner together at the dining room table, kids talked to their parents about their day, and everyone was friends with their neighbors. It was a very close knit community; not for a second, did I ever feel I didn't belong.

My parents were the greatest blessing I ever received. My dad is a cattle rancher, a gold ole' boy, with old school morals and ideas that make him the strong father that I know. My mom is the woman that puts everyone before herself. She is the kind-hearted soul that everyone needs in their life. Our family is concrete, with a strong bond that will never fade and a love that shows every day. My brother and I were fortunate enough to be able to throw our parents a surprise 40th anniversary party. After watching the slide-show of our family that I made as a gift, they came over and hugged us with tears in their eyes. My mom said, "We are thankful everyday that we were able to adopt you two, how did we get so lucky? I love you".

We have always been an open family when it comes to talking about things. When I turned 18, I decided that I would like to find out who my birth-mother was. I went to my mom and told her about my interest. She made some calls and came back with some information on how to find birth-parents from a closed adoption. I took her advice and began my search. After making many calls, digging through papers and some waiting, I had a name! I realized that this name would have probably changed due to marriage but I had to give it a shot.

I went home for Christmas vacation, grabbed some friends and hit the road. I knew that I was born only 45 minutes from where I grew up. I was just hoping that she had given birth near where she was from, but knew that might not have been the case considering that many young women were sent to stay with relatives when they became pregnant. I decided to visit the court house and look for her birth certificate. I found it and recorded all the information off of it. I now had addresses, parents' names, etc. I then decided to go to some high schools. I visited about 6 schools and found nothing. I was loosing hope and some interest. About a week later I was visiting a friend in the city that I was born in. I always thought that there was no way she would have given birth in the same city that she was raised in and the agency would have never placed a child so close to their biological parents. I went to the first school and found nothing. I was pretty much done. My friend said, "There is only one more school, then we can be done". I agreed. We walked into the library with the excited librarian, eager to look through yearbooks. I grabbed the first yearbook that I saw. I opened the cover and hand written on the inside was, "Have a great summer" signed by my birth-mother! I couldn't believe it. I had found her!

Within the next week I had spoken with her and began a relationship. We continued to talk on the phone, exchanaged a few letters and emails. A few years later she passed away, before I was able to meet her. I had never experienced that kind of regret. It was a very strange feeling and it consumed me. I had lost my chance and would never get it back. Within the next few years I began a relationship with her daughter, my half sister. The strange thing about this is that I did not ever see my birth-mother as my mother but I did see my half-sister as my sister. Maybe because I had never had a sister. We have grown into great friends and have seen each other on a number of occassions. It feels like a blessing to have her in my life.

I decided to become an egg donor when I was 26 years old. I had just graduated college, got married, and started my first "real" job. My husband and I  were happy living in a small apartment in mid-town Sacramento. I had heard about egg donation and was interested to find that each family situation was different with special circumstances and demands. These families come from all different parts of the world and all different cultures. Some couples are all-male, some are all-female and others are traditional married couples; but all have a common dream: to have a child to love, cherish and raise.

Egg Donation was a perfect choice for me. I felt that this was my chance to make someone's dream come true. I cannot imagine my parents growing old without having children. I must admit that the compensation was also a deciding factor for my husband and me. This would help us start saving for our first house that we could start our family in. Once I felt I had found the right agency, I found the courage to apply and wait to see what happened from there. The application process with Heartfelt Egg Donation, llc was fairly painless: questions about my health, ancestry, hobbies and goals. I also participated in a medical evaluation and a psychological evaluation to ensure that I was mentally sane and healthy and had the intended parents' best interest at heart.

Not too long after, I received the first call from Suzanne Myers that would change the rest of my life, as well as those of others. She informed me that she had matched me with a family and wanted to know if I would consider working with them. I must say, at first I was surprised and a bit nervous that a couple foresaw their future family coming from my genetic material. I agreed to become their egg donor and was actually excited to start the process of doctor appointments and medication. Everything went smoothly throughout the entire process.

Soon after my first donation, I was blessed to become pregnant with my first child. My husband and I were ecstatic about the news. I gave birth to a precious baby girl! I now realized how very lucky I was to become pregnant and give birth to a healthy child with no complications along the way. I was so happy that I was able to make another family feel the joy that I had experienced.

I have been an egg donor twice and couldn't be happier to have been involved in this process. To help give life to a family is an incredible feeling that's tough to describe until you experience  it yourself. More than the financial reward, it made me feel righteously proud - a feeling that intensified when I heard that my first family gave birth to a beautiful baby. I look at my parents and am so thankful that everything worked out the way it did. I just know that some day that baby, with my genetic material, is going to look at their parents and feel the same way I do with my parents.

Now when I peak about my experiences as an egg donor, I am proud to share my story. Yes, the money was an important benefit, but I found myself very involved in the process and actually excited each time I had the opportunity to help. I am so happy that I have helped families who needed my assistance in creating their family. And so when people ask me why I am an egg donor, I respond back, "Why aren't you"?

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